Before, During and Still Losing Pics!!

     Well it has been a while since I have updated everyone on my progress...As of 9/25/2012 I have lost 70 pounds!!!   Oh my I can't believe it, I am still wishing my pants would fit better and the size would go down but now a days they way they make their pants I swear they use a different measuring system in the factory than I do at home!!  LOL  You would think I would be in a few pant sizes smaller but I am not still just one pant size so eventually I will have to start losing my midriff area, right??  My husband says I am looking good and well since this is my blog and honesty and humor are important to me my husband says to me one night..."babe making love to you is so different now, don't get me wrong I LOVE IT, but I am so lucky because every time lately is like being with a new you, kind of like cheating but with my own wife."  Now don't get me wrong at first I was like HUH?  But then I thought about it and 4 months ago I was 311 pounds and today I am at 241 so in a sense he is right.  I am a new person almost every week I have lost 5-10 pounds.  I don't feel or see the difference as much but I know he does and so do others that I see at and around my moms business.  I can now say when people say I look good or say how much have you lost I feel and know I have the biggest smile any person could have.  I am so happy!! 

LIFE IS GREAT!!

     Well it has been a while since I have posted, life has been so crazy!  First, my husband decided to make a great lifestyle change and go to an intensive inpatient rehab for alcohol.  One day he came to me and said he wants help to stop drinking so he can become a better husband and father.  I was so suprised because I never thought he would stop drinking again, so I first told him to call his job so he can see what they are willing to offer in means of help and low and behold they have a contract with Cushing Valley Hope in Cushing, Ok.  That Monday June 25 he left and will complete his treatment on July 24th which will be 30 days then we can begin our life sober and happy again.  I am just now able to breath and  am still shocked and so extremely proud of my husband for giving his family the gift of sobriety. 
     Anyway on to me.....  I went today for my second fill in my band I am up to 6cc's and the band can hold 10cc's.  Today is the first time I really felt the band working, and boy did it hurt!  But now that I know it is not broke and the Dr really put the band in  (LOL) I have to eat a lot slower and chew better or it will all come back up because it hurts if you try to keep it down.  But the good new is I am now down 36 pounds and am loving the new me.  My outlook on life has even changed amazing to me how angry and depressed I was.   Life has gotten so much better and the weight loss has helped but my attitude has changed and that is what really has made my life better I think.  So to anybody thinking about the lap band do it if not for your health but for your sanity. 

Trying

I wish this weight loss thing would go a little faster but I guess slow going is better than no going.  I definatley need to start walking more but life just seems to get in the way when you have four kids and now a puppy.  I know a whole lot of excuses but, it is true.  I have now found a friend that is going to go and walk with me in the morning so that will make it easier to be motivated I HOPE!!  Today it is going to be a short post because I have to hit bed. 

Whoohoo!! Went to 6 week check up!

     Well I know I have slacked off on writing and posting but 4 kids and 3 of them in ball and out of the 3 my girl is playing in two leagues two different towns.  Needless to say my husband and I are very busy and sometimes and it is still hard for us to make it work.  But we DO!!  I got my first fill today 4cc and my band can hold 10 cc  but fills are a process and every 6 weeks Dr. Eldridge said he will add 1 cc until I get to my green zone.  Now I know you have your eye brows looking funny and your forehead scrunched like what is a green zone.  Okay let me explain the green zone, it is where I can eat comfortably without puking or without overeating where the food is just going through the band.  The band isn't some quick fix it is still a diet, NO!!  it is a LIFESTYLE CHANGE!!!  But it gives me the motivation to stay true to the lifestyle of changing my over eating and not eating the stuff that is bad for me like candy and drinking cokes.  Because of the carbonation that I am not supposed to have I no longer drink cokes 2 months now.  And because of all the calories in a candy I just say no.  Why I ask myself and then say no because I wanted this for so long and have so many supporters in my life would I ever want to sabotage myself?
     So now to the matter at hand.  I have officially lost 30 pounds, think about it that is 6 bags of potatoes, 6 bags of sugar, and I can go on and on.  If you want to know how much that really is go try and lift that at the grocery store and there you go.  Now some may be reading this and saying WOW how did she let it get so bad? I write this almost in tears because I really don't know!! Then again I am a stress eater, I eat when I am happy, sad, bored, tired and hell I just love food!!  So now thanks to a friend who will be remain anonymous until she reads this and tells me it is okay to edit and put her name. She told me to use an acronym H.A.L.T  So now when I go to the store or in the kitchen because I am hungry I use halt, am I eating because  H-happy, A-angry, L-lonely, T-tired, I know it doesn't cover all emotions but even thinking about it makes me think twice about why I am eating unless of coarse it is breakfast, lunch, or supper.  People who can eat anything not exercise and stay thin well they are lucky and society loves them, BUT people who are obese (and obese doesn't mean you are fat, for example I am 5' 4" and if I get down to 180 I would still be considered obese and that blows my mind I would just be curvy Right?) super obese or morbidly obese (by the way this is what they classified me)  Society screams at us telling us 0 is the new 2 well I think this is wrong, that person you are looking at who may be overweight you don't know what his/her situation in life may be.....for the simple fact GENES whether you want to hear or not or even believe it is a big part of weight struggles, Metabolism, thyroid, and medical conditions that person may be struggling and you are judging them.  What does that say about our society?  Are we that into looks that the person inside the body doesn't matter?  I am not saying being overweight is by no means okay.  But who are we to judge?  And we all at one point in our life whether we want to admit it or not have judged somebody based on their looks. And as I write this I have judged not to use excuses but to explain why being overweight in today's society has me bitter and angry at myself so I look at the skinny girl and think to myself she needs to eat she is nothing but bones or at the fat girl and say just because it says one size fits all it doesn't really mean fits all.  If you are reading this and want to confess to judging or being judged for any reason at all you can feel free to express it in a comment this is one place you will not be judged.  Up until I met some really awesome people some thin, tall, short, heavy set (lol see how I sugar coated that for them) and they all have great spirits and outlooks on life that I realized I am not my WEIGHT!

Day 29

    Today is day 29 of my weight loss journey, and I have lost 22 pounds.  I get my first fill in my band on June 5th, that is when I will be so excited and when the journey truly begins. Right now I am losing slowly because I am controlling what I eat and stopping when I am full it is all will power now because I have nothing in my band so it is not working the way it was designed to.  But when I get my first fill I will only be able to eat 4 to 5 tablespoons at a meal.  It is funny because the nurse at the doctors office told me since I have to wait 6 weeks to heal before I get my first fill and the band is not going to work the way it was designed to I am going to gain weight which is normal.  Oh no I said.  And guess what I still haven't gained weight on the contrary I have lost.  People ask me all the time when they first see me how much weight have you lost, and on facebook my friends say send updated pics well I don't see the 22 pounds in pictures so it is still hard to post pictures.  OH I have went clothes shopping and I am now in one pant size smaller than I was, so I know I am losing inches.  YEAH!!

A New Day

     Everyday I start feeling better and better!  The soreness is going away in most spots but staying sore in others.  I go to the doctor Tuesday for my check up and that is going to be a great day!  {I Hope!}  
     Not to change the subject or anything but, my husband finally admitted that he sees a difference in my body and the way my close look.  I was surprised that he said that because I ask him this once a day to see what he will say and everyday he tells me "babe be patient you just got it done a week ago".  I tell him "but I lost 15 before my surgery I would expect you to see somewhere!"  He then proceeds to tell me he loves me and is glad that I got the surgery.  But I have had women tell me I am going to leave him when I lose the weight.  So of coarse I talk to him about what people discuss with me, and to find out he has been having those thoughts.  But I keep assuring him that I love him and all the crap that we have been through in our marriage why would I leave him when we are happy and everything is going good?!, because if he didn't have his job with insurance and now a licence and truck to get it on his own I wouldn't have been able to get the surgery.  And what's sad is I have never once thought about leaving my husband after I got the band. 
     Time to say bye for now, I am going to spend the rest of my day lounging with the family. 

IT'S FRIDAY!!

So it's Friday, and you know what that means...Its been exactly one week since my surgery and I weigh myself every morning on my home scale but that is just to see if it is working!! LOL  I go Tuesday to my two week check up and that will be my official weight since post op.  And it will tell me how much I have lost since October because that is where I first weighed in since I started my journey.  Scared is the word because I know this is not a miracle surgery, but I also know this was what I needed to be healthy and live a longer life GOD willing.  With the Lap Band for all those who don't know what it is let me explain.... It is a band that goes around your stomach to make a smaller pouch.  Versus the Gastric Bypass the lap band is completely reversible, women can keep it if they want to get pregnant, and there is on cutting and removing of the intestine or stomach.  Now you have to discipline yourself to eat right and exercise because if you don't you can still gain weight and even become bigger than before pre op.  I know many of you hear Gastric Band but that is the technical name it is more known as the Lap Band.  Maybe I should have explained this in the very beginning of my blog so my readers would understand my terms and surgery while reading.  LOL   

I am going to do this!!

     I have such a different outlook on life since my surgery!  I am excited about exercising because I know it is going to make a difference.  Today I got up, got the kids ready and off to school, then I put on my tennis shoes and out the door I was on my way to walk my mile.  My husband text me a asked who did I go waking with and I got to tell him all by myself.  I also told him just because I don't have anybody to walk with doesn't mean that is going to stop me.  I am dedicated to chaging my lifestyle and if I have to do it alone I am going to!!  I am not saying I don't have a support system or people to walk with by no means, what I am saying is there are days I am going to have to do it alone and not let it stop me!!  I refuse to let myself use being alone as an "excuse!"  My life is going to change for the better and the only way it is going to do that is if I make the change!! 

Hope You Enjoy A Little Peak At My Life!

Day 4 And Feeling Great!!

Today I woke up and two of my incisions hurt bad.  My husband being the loving and supportive man he has been said to me "Babe why don't we go do a little walking?"  I was at first thinking duh I hurt why would I want to walk!  LOL  But then decided to give it a try.  We went to the Life Center at the First Baptist Church where I proudly walked a mile on the track at my own pace while my husband played basketball and looked at me ever so often and said "good job honey, you are taking the first steps to a healthier new you!"  And the smile on his face as he said it gave me the strength to walk those next few laps.  The support that I have had just in the beginning of my journey has been great!  I will be walking Monday through Friday at 8 am at the Life Center if anybody wants to join me.  I chose to do it here because I feel comfortable and to me exercising comfortable will keep me motivated. 

Day 3 Post Op

I am three days post op and still sore. I can not wait for the day the soreness is away and I can move freely to exercise and not hurt. I have four kids and the day after surgery I was at a tournament at the ball field, I had many people tell me I shouldn't be there so soon, but I had to see my two boys play ball for the first time. However, I did end up leaving way early and my support system I had was amazing. I of coarse am still on the liquid diet and not liking it or should I say my stomach is not liking it. But the whole idea of getting the surgery is to change my lifestyle and eating habits, Right? I did lose 15 pounds from my last weight in at the dietitian to the morning of the surgery which was a surprise. I wish I could figure out what scale to go off of because my home scale is about 5 pounds heavier than the hospital scale so of coarse I want to go with the hospital scale! LOL but as long as they both show a change the pounds really don't bother me I just want to see results. I just want to put out there that my husband has been so amazing!!  Our house and laundry is getting taken care of, the kids are fed, bathed, and put to bed early for school.  My kids have been great to, so helpful and haven't been fighting with each other as usual. 
     I have been exercising like I was instructed, walk 15 minutes 3 times a day.  Me, My husband Salvador, and the kids walk from the house to the stop sign and back for 15 minutes or more if I feel like it.  Salvador don't want me to over due it.  Oh and by the way "I FEEL GREAT!"

Few hours post op

Okay all I had my surgery and I feel great mentally but physically I am so sore!  I did however at the hospital before surgery weigh in 15 pounds lighter since my last weigh in.  yay that is a plus.  I feel great and can't wait for this weight to start coming off.  I am still on a liquid diet for 2 weeks then its on to baby food and blended food. yum I know I am going to hate those weeks!  Life is good though I will be posting a new pic every month on the 27th. 

The night Before Surgery

Well it is the night before my surgery and now I am getting nervous.  Had a great day though to keep my mind busy and off food.  We went to OKC REDHAWKS Gameand they won.  Now we are in the motel just relaxing, not much to write since my husband is putting me to bed. GOODNIGHT ALL!

Surgery is close!!

It is 11:13 pm and I am still up.  Tomorrow we will be heading out to the city to stay the night so we don't have to get up extra early on Friday to get to the hospital by 6 am.  Now I am wide awake yet so tired.  I have been on a low cal diet for 7 days and on a liquid diet for 3 days now and I am really hungry but I haven't cheated and have wanted to so badly.  I have to be strong I am having this surgery to not only lose weight but to have a lifestyle change.  And to have a lifestyle change I have to be strong and committed. 
     I still can't believe this is real however putting my actual weight out there is a constant reminder it is.  LOL  I have heard a lot lately "wow you really don't look like you weigh that much, you carry it well!"  I say "really? I should carry it well I have been as long as I remember!"  LOL  I can joke about it others can joke about it we laugh, but it hurts.Well I am going to try and get some sleep.  Good Night all!   

The Beginning.

This is my thoughts and feelings about my weight loss surgery (wls), the Lapland.  I am doing this because it is going to be a long process and if I can get my thoughts out there to help me and maybe help someone else it will all be worth it.  Now on the other hand, I know there are going to be people out there who think surgery is a copout, but if you have never been big, you truly don't understand and maybe this will help you understand that people who are heavy are not always over eaters.  Society today tells little girls, young lady's, and women that we need to be a size O, or 2 is the new 4 well this is disheartening to me!  Tabloids at the news stands all have beautiful women on the front, commercials and movies all half naked women!  Then people wonder why we have bullies and women take handfuls of pills or puke to lose weight.  This photo was taken at my brothers wedding on August 13, 2011.  I will post pics as I travel this journey.   And remember if you can't say nothing nice don't say it at all!!