My Family

My Family

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Trying

I wish this weight loss thing would go a little faster but I guess slow going is better than no going.  I definatley need to start walking more but life just seems to get in the way when you have four kids and now a puppy.  I know a whole lot of excuses but, it is true.  I have now found a friend that is going to go and walk with me in the morning so that will make it easier to be motivated I HOPE!!  Today it is going to be a short post because I have to hit bed. 

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Whoohoo!! Went to 6 week check up!

     Well I know I have slacked off on writing and posting but 4 kids and 3 of them in ball and out of the 3 my girl is playing in two leagues two different towns.  Needless to say my husband and I are very busy and sometimes and it is still hard for us to make it work.  But we DO!!  I got my first fill today 4cc and my band can hold 10 cc  but fills are a process and every 6 weeks Dr. Eldridge said he will add 1 cc until I get to my green zone.  Now I know you have your eye brows looking funny and your forehead scrunched like what is a green zone.  Okay let me explain the green zone, it is where I can eat comfortably without puking or without overeating where the food is just going through the band.  The band isn't some quick fix it is still a diet, NO!!  it is a LIFESTYLE CHANGE!!!  But it gives me the motivation to stay true to the lifestyle of changing my over eating and not eating the stuff that is bad for me like candy and drinking cokes.  Because of the carbonation that I am not supposed to have I no longer drink cokes 2 months now.  And because of all the calories in a candy I just say no.  Why I ask myself and then say no because I wanted this for so long and have so many supporters in my life would I ever want to sabotage myself?
     So now to the matter at hand.  I have officially lost 30 pounds, think about it that is 6 bags of potatoes, 6 bags of sugar, and I can go on and on.  If you want to know how much that really is go try and lift that at the grocery store and there you go.  Now some may be reading this and saying WOW how did she let it get so bad? I write this almost in tears because I really don't know!! Then again I am a stress eater, I eat when I am happy, sad, bored, tired and hell I just love food!!  So now thanks to a friend who will be remain anonymous until she reads this and tells me it is okay to edit and put her name. She told me to use an acronym H.A.L.T  So now when I go to the store or in the kitchen because I am hungry I use halt, am I eating because  H-happy, A-angry, L-lonely, T-tired, I know it doesn't cover all emotions but even thinking about it makes me think twice about why I am eating unless of coarse it is breakfast, lunch, or supper.  People who can eat anything not exercise and stay thin well they are lucky and society loves them, BUT people who are obese (and obese doesn't mean you are fat, for example I am 5' 4" and if I get down to 180 I would still be considered obese and that blows my mind I would just be curvy Right?) super obese or morbidly obese (by the way this is what they classified me)  Society screams at us telling us 0 is the new 2 well I think this is wrong, that person you are looking at who may be overweight you don't know what his/her situation in life may be.....for the simple fact GENES whether you want to hear or not or even believe it is a big part of weight struggles, Metabolism, thyroid, and medical conditions that person may be struggling and you are judging them.  What does that say about our society?  Are we that into looks that the person inside the body doesn't matter?  I am not saying being overweight is by no means okay.  But who are we to judge?  And we all at one point in our life whether we want to admit it or not have judged somebody based on their looks. And as I write this I have judged not to use excuses but to explain why being overweight in today's society has me bitter and angry at myself so I look at the skinny girl and think to myself she needs to eat she is nothing but bones or at the fat girl and say just because it says one size fits all it doesn't really mean fits all.  If you are reading this and want to confess to judging or being judged for any reason at all you can feel free to express it in a comment this is one place you will not be judged.  Up until I met some really awesome people some thin, tall, short, heavy set (lol see how I sugar coated that for them) and they all have great spirits and outlooks on life that I realized I am not my WEIGHT!